In the 1990s, there was a tongue-in-cheek quiz that made the rounds in the U.S. intelligence community, which underwent a serious identity crisis after the collapse of the Soviet Union.
Now that the Soviets were gone, the quiz was called “The Big Intelligence Question of the 1990s: Who is the enemy?”
Here’s how some of the usual suspects might have answered that question, according to the spoof:
State: “There are no enemies.”
CIA operations directorate: “We know who the enemy is, but telling you would endanger the source.”
CIA intelligence directorate: “We wrote about who the enemy is and what they might do, but management politicized the conclusions.”
Defense Intelligence Agency: “We wrote the same thing CIA/DI did, but by the time it got through the review, the enemy had come and gone.”
The National Security Agency: “We know who the enemy is and what they choose to do, but you aren’t cleared for that code word.”
Marines: “Doesn’t matter. Mess with the best, die like the rest Do you like John Wayne movies?”
FBI: “CIA”